X-Factor semi-finalists 'confused and upset' at Crash Test Dummies week

The remaining contestants in this year's X-Factor are reeling from the news that this weekend's show will be Crash Test Dummies Week, requiring them to perform two numbers by the forgotten Canadian folk/rock band...

After hours of tense discussions, X-Factor bosses snubbed Abba and Michael Jackson in favour of Winnipeg's Crash Test Dummies, who were famous for around six weeks in 1993.

The announcement left contestants desperately trawling London record shops for copies of 'God Shuffled His Feet' and 1998's US chart No 78 album 'A Worm's Life'.

Dannii Minogue moved quickly to reserve impossibly deep-voiced Uk No 2 hit 'Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm' for Stacey Solomon, leaving Cheryl Cole to pounce on 'The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead', which was briefly featured in the film Dumb & Dumber, on behalf of inoffensive housewives' choice Joe McElderry.

As yet, Simon Cowell is keeping his cards close to his chest. However, there are rumours that the square-headed billionaire, who successfully invented the film 'Gummo' earlier in the series, has coerced the Crash Test Dummies into hurriedly releasing a secret album of Michael Jackson covers to provide his contestants Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson with standard X-Factor fare.

The choice of guests for the Sunday results show may also attract criticism after ITV announced they were 'delighted to have secured Chumbawamba' and were talking to 'one of the very best bands in Bradford'.