Weasel-faced scrote Bieber was allowed ingress to the pop world when he was championed by bland, Edgar-Alan Poe-influenced R&B halfwit Usher, who found him secreted in a box of bananas delivered as his pre-gig rider [pictured] and has since become a sex symbol for girls 10 years short of understanding what sex is and that Bieber will be no good at it.
Bieber's grizzly rise has brought agony to innocent people across the world with the Canadian nuisance recently heading NME's Top 100 People You Would Like To See Sent The Wrong Way On The Metropolitan Line (You Know, All The Way To Amersham Or Somewhere Instead of Baker Street).
But today there is a tangible air of relief as doctors have confirmed that Bieber bears the anatomical traits of a male human and will in all probability die at the age of 75.6.
The revelation has brought hope to millions, who now know that they only have to survive until July 6, 2069 to enjoy a Bieber-free existence.
However, some scientists believe that Bieber's disintegration is progressing slower than the effects of global warming and predict that Bieber will be present to sing a lounge version of 'Baby' at an end of civilisation party hosted by Cliff Richard.