Ireland feels everyone is watching what it puts in the fridge

A couple of days after EU ministers finalised details of Ireland's financial bailout, the Emerald Isle has complained of 'feeling it can't buy anything nice without getting a look'.

After running into a slight cash flow problem, Ireland was forced to accept a £72bn aid package despite initially claiming there was no need as it was 'due for a break' and 'had a good feeling about December.'

Although the money has been a relief for Ireland, it has been forced to repeatedly stress its gratitude while other EU nations ruffle its hair and say things like 'share the wealth, I always say.'

And Ireland's patience is wearing thin after getting 'a real look' from France after investing in some M&S mozzarella this afternoon.

"It's not that France said anything, it was just obvious what it was thinking: that's my money you're spending on high-end cheese," the ailing nation lamented.

"But it's like 80p more than Tesco and theirs is seriously bland. I just feel like it was really nice to lend us the money but you can't keep making us feel guilty."

Things are likely to reach boiling point this weekend when Ireland plans to go to a day spa for some pampering after its recent traumatic period.